Return To Education

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I think, for most of us still in our more knowledge thirsting years, we’re going back to school today (or perhaps you went back to school yesterday). It’s funny really, just a couple of weeks ago, I was wishing the summer would end, heck, even all the way back to July. I was thinking, let this summer end, I’ll have my new laptop (got it), my new phone (also got it), and a car (that didn’t go as I’d like). And now I’m having the predictable, ‘be careful what you wish for’ moment. But I’ll admit, it’s not as bad as it was in years past.

See, I’ve already gone through the near worse you can go to. I more or less dropped out after my first year and had to take a semester off. Most of the people in my courses are a year or two younger (bar my electives). Hell, I work with people a great deal younger than me too. Sometimes it’s embarassing. It makes me feel like a step behind, especially when I hear my friends, or people I went to school with, are a step ahead, and they look like they’re having the time of their lives. But I guess that’s a ‘the grass is always greener’ type of situation.

There’s one thing that keeps me going aside from the ‘you’ve already hit rock bottom before’ mentality and that’s the belief that, I’m going to get published. I’m going to be a successful writer. Maybe not today. This year. Or even by the time I graduate. But I feel like, if I keep hitting at it, it’s going to happen. Hopefully, it doesn’t end up as a ‘book becomes famous one hundred years after he died’ situation because that would be fucking awful. But I don’t know. When you go through so much bad shit (relatively, I know some people have gone through way worse, trust me), you get the feeling you can survive mostly everything.

That’s me right now. I know I’ll face a lot of moments throughout the year where I’ll be anxious, and sweating bullets, and begging the all mighty for this moment to just pass real quick. And then I’ll look back and think that wasn’t so bad even if it felt like the end of the world then. And months later, I won’t even remember what was making my heart pace like Bolt on a sprint.

Now, all that aside. I am not done my book yet. I am nearly there. Really, I’m wrapping up everything. I’m at the denouement. I’ve also found I’m generally able to knock down 1K+ pretty easy before I go to sleep (though sleep comes harder thereafter when you spent the past hour or so staring at a screen). I’m nearly at 80K which is really what I want to hit and I’m trying to sell myself on the belief that I can fix all of the fuck-ups and countless horrible issues in this story in my editing phase.

I still need to watch Re:Zero’s newest episode.

I started watching Atlanta and Childish Gambino is still one of my favorite artist alive. Be it acting, rapping, writing. He’s a pretty brilliant guy. I just wish I could binge it all, you know. But props to FX for being a great channel.

Uhm. I think that’s it. Let’s hope I don’t get run over by a car tomorrow and make this post seem pretty stupid.

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